He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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