the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
