Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
