maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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