I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
