it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
