Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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