I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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