he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
me + whiskey = a bad person
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