hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
