i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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