They should really pass out barf bags in church
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This is classic penis vs brain.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize