I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Holy shit dude........stairs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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