ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
