dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
