Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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