Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
