I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
