I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
