Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
