just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
