I feel great
I just peed on a car
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
