I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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