I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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