K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
