going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
