Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
