It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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