I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we should paint friendship bongs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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