do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
