Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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