Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
