Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
