It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
