she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
