I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
