can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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