Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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