shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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