No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
