24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize