if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
