that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
