He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
