Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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