"it" just moved
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
