About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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