I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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