The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
