Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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