This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
