I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
