He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize