So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
