yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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