You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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