Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
