A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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