I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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