I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
