I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
