I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
