Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want her autograph on my taint
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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