she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
