Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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